Piece of Cake
by Jetta.Vroom.Vroom
Summary: One of the brawlers stole Falco's double chocolate fudge cake! But who could it be?
1. Victim: Cake

It was a beautiful day outside of smash mansion; the sun was shining, the flowers were dancing, and birds were singing.

No other day could be more perfect.

"You got that right…" Falco grins contently as he crossed the lawn while grasping a plate in hand.

Set beautifully atop the plate was a slice of double chocolate fudge cake.

The azure feathered brawler stared hungrily at the cake as he made himself comfortable on a lawn chair that sat just a few feet away from a few playing children.

Falco carefully picked up a silver spoon from the plate and broke off a piece from the moist soft cake.

The winged brawler's mouth overflowed in saliva as he licked his lips.

Before he began to bring the piece of chocolate goodness to his beak…

"FAAAAAALCO!" The shouts that came within Smash Mansion made his feathers frizzy. " I need help!"

"Alright…" Falco said angrily as he set down the plate on his lawn chair. "Just wait for me one minute." He cooed sweetly toward the slice of heavenly baked goodness. "I'll be back to devoir you, my sweet."

Falco angrily stomped inside the dining room to find a very perturbed Ness sitting on the dinner table.

"What do you want?" Falco demanded harshly.

The boy became frightened by the way of speaking of the feathered brawler. "Uh…I just…needed help on my…math." He replied shakily. "But I don't think I need it anymore!"

"Calling my over simply to waste my time," Falco spat towards the baseball-capped boy. "I ought to call Peach and send her here to give you a good spanking!"

"No!" Ness replied quickly. "Please!"

Falco tilted his head back as he made his way back outside.

In case you were wondering, Falco usually wasn't this angry, in fact he's actually one of the nicest brawlers in Smash Mansion.

The only way Falco would ever get angered is by disturbing him from 14:00 to 15:00, which was "Falco and the cake" time.

"I told you I'd be back my delectable…" Falco gasped loudly when he noticed that the silver wear that sat on the lawn chair was still there, but the cake was not.

"WHO ATE MAAAAAAAY CAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?"

* * *

**Who will Falco's first suspect of eating his delectable cake?**

**Find out on the next chapter.  
**


	2. Suspects 1 and 2: Mario and Peach

"Oh NEESS!" Falco angrily tore through the double doors of Smash Mansion and stomped to the dining room table. "Where are you, tubby?"

The azure feathered brawler frantically searched every corner of the dining room but to his disappointment, he found no baseball-capped boy.

"I know you're hiding…" Falco sang sarcastically as he peered underneath the long dining table.

As Falco began to crawl underneath the table searching for his first suspect, a series of heavy footsteps entered the room.

"What-a is you a looking for-a down there-a?" A thick Italian accent questioned as Falco crawled out from the darkness underneath the table and back to the flouresent lighting of the room.

As the blue-feathered male looked up, he stared upon a man with a heavy potbelly, tight fading blue overalls, and a thick black mustache. "Ello, Its-a me, Maa…"

"I know who the heck you are." Falco spat out angrily as stood beside the Nintendo's famous plumber. "I need to know where…"

The blue-feathered male's left eye began to twitch in anger. "What the f—k…" Falco Lombardi balled fists at his sides as he glared upon the tell tale stain upon Mario's chin.

"What?" Mario asked grinning.

Falco completely lost all senses as he let out a battle cry and quickly flung himself over the chubby plumber.

Mario helplessly began to take in the angered Falco's blows consecutively.

"Hold it!" A light and delicate voice was heard from within the entrance of the dining room that made Falco stop punching Mario.

The beautiful princess of the Mushroom Kingdom slowly and gently began to approach Mario and Falco who were sprawled on the floor.

"What do you think you are doing?" Peach scolded Falco. "Why are you beating up my Potbelly Roast?"

"That's-a what I'd like to know-a!" Mario spat harshly.

"Because YOU ate my double chocolate fudge CAKE!" Falco bellowed. He pointed to the stain that still clung to Mario's chin.

"It isn't-a what it looks-a like!" Mario frantically cried.

"Oh no?" Falco rolled his eyes.

"No…it's not." Peach said monotone. "I'm making Mole Poblano for dinner. It's a really great Mexican dish I thought you would all enjoy tonight and I gave Mario a little taste."

"Prove it!" Falco demanded.

"Try it…" Peach dared.

Falco's blue feathers swiped the remaining brown smudge from Mario's chin and licked it off his blue-feathered wing.

He savored the taste for a moment then swallowed nervously.

"Hey, this Mole Poblano isn't at all that bad." Falco told Peach.

"Really?" She sang happily. "I bet you can't wait until dinner time now!"

"I really can't." Falco grinned.

"Now apologize to Mario."

Falco bowed his head toward Mario's direction.

"I'm sorry, Mario." He said softly. "But really…neither of you have seen my…"

"Nope." Peach said quickly. "We haven't even been outside."

"Alright…I'm going to go now…" Falco blushed in embarrassment.

"And next time, don't go off blaming-a innocent people-a for nothing-a." Mario ordered.

"I won't." Falco promised. "Next time, I'm sure I'll find the culprit."

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario and it wasn't Peach...who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out...next time.**

**Thanks for reading! :]  
**


	3. Suspects 3 and 4: ROB and Mr Game&Watch

"Where has that fat boy gone off to?" Falco scoffed as he sat on the sofa in the middle of the Smash Mansion living room.

He was jotting down a list of the possible suspects for stealing his Double Chocolate Fudge cake.

His list looked a little something like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

"Hm…" Falco realized as he went through his list. "I think there is someone else who could be passable as a suspect."

Now his list looked a little more like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

_2. Ness, fat boy_

Falco grew startled as he heard beeping noises and tiny blasts of wind approaching his couch from behind.

"Robotic- Operating-Buddy-heard-cake-stolen." A white robot specimen said in a monotone mechanical voice as he settled in front of the blue-feathered brawler.

"Oh yeah?" Falco stood up, threatingly staring at the robot and it's companion, Mr. Game & Watch a two dimensional man from Super flat World. "And what would you two know about it, huh? Confess!" Falco had completely lost it once more. "Confess or I will turn you into Peach, so she can give you a good spanking!"

"Beep!" The two-dimensional male beeped uncontrollably, it almost sounded as if he were laughing.

"Ha-ha." The intelligent device laughed. "Robotic- Operating-Buddy-laugh-at-stupidity!"

"What?" Falco gasped.

"Robotic-Operating-Buddy-does-not-eat." ROB and his fellow companion face-palmed and continued to laugh…and beep.

"Well what about him, huh?" The azure bird turned to Mr. Game & Watch. "You've got to eat sometime."

The two-dimensional man took out a frying pan from its pocket and began to beep happily as it flipped two-dimensional bacon in the air.

"Oh…" Falco realized unhappily as he gazed sadly at the machine. "That's right…you don't eat and…" He turned to Mr. Game & Watch. "You only eat two-dimensional bacon."

"Bow-down-to-us-and-apologize." The robot instructed.

Falco bowed sadly in defeat and apologized once more to falsely accused suspects.

"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep Beep!" The flat man replied.  
"What did he say?" Falco asked.

"Game-and-Watch-indicates-that-you-must-not-blame-innocent-people-for-nothing." The Robotic Operating Buddy said finally as he and Mr. Game & Watch abandoned the room.

Falco plopped on the sofa where he once sat and took out his list. "I must stop accusing people without evidence." He said softly.

"Yummy!" A small voice of a certain young swordsman was heard through the corridors of Smash Mansion. "That sure was good!"

"But then again…" Falco said with rage building up inside him. "Everyone is a suspect…"

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario or Peach, ROB or Mr. Game & Watch...who could it possibly be?**

**You may or may not find out next time...**

**Thank you so much for taking your time to reading my work and writing reviews! **

**I bow to you, reader in gratitude.**

**Stay Awesome! :]**


	4. Suspects 5 thru 12: Trainer and Pokemon

"I can't believe I ate that whole thing!" The small voice of the tiny green swordsman echoed through the corridor as Falco quickly began to make his way toward it.

"Aha!" The azure blue bird cried but by the time he was standing in the corridor, it was empty.

It was as if the tiny swordsman had vanished into thin air.

Falco immediately stomped on the carpeted floor in anger as he took out the list he had made and quickly scribbled another name under the previous ones.

Now the list looked a little something like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

_2. Ness, fat boy_

_3. Toon Link, Swordskid_

As Falco's eyes traveled down the list shown above; his angered eyes shot up as he heard the sound of laughter.

"Great job, guys!" The young voice cried at the opposite end of the hall.

The fury returned to Falco as he began to make his toward the end of the corridor and inside the guest room.

"Since you all did such a great job," Red, the very determined Pokemon Trainer grinned as he looked down at the many colorful Pokemon that surrounded him. "You all get a treat! And today it's going to be a nice chocolate…"

"CAKE!" Falco bellowed as he pointed his pistol at the sixteen-year-old boy and his Pokemon. "Put your hands where I can see them and drop the cake slice to the floor."

"What are you talking about?" The nervous boy with the large brown eyes cried as his eyes quadrupled in size.

"It's his cake, Red…" Lucario, the steel and fighting type pokemon by the young teen's side rasped in a hushed voice.

"Pikachu?" The yellow electric mouse questioned.

Lucario glared at Falco, trying to encrypt his thoughts. "That's right, someone has stolen Falco's slice of Double Chocolate Fudge cake…"

"That's right!" Falco shouted as he pointed at the young man. "So hand it over, Pokemon Trainer."

"What?" Red gasped in shock. "A true Pokemon Master would never take something belonging to someone else."

"Squirrrrtle!" Squirtle glared at the feathered brawler.

Charizard let out a very intimidating roar in his loyal trainer's defense.

Lucario slowly approached the very angered blue-feathered brawler. "Why would we steal your cake, huh?" He asked Falco in a harsh voice . "We are Pokemon, we do not eat human food. Red feeds us Pokemon food..."

"But…" Falco said sadly. "I heard him say that he said he was going to feed you…"

"Chocolate flavored Pokemon food." Lucario replied as he turned to the terrified young man. "Show him, Red."

The timid boy in red pulled out little chocolate colored pellets and showed them to Falco.

"Oh…" Falco said unhappily. "So…it wasn't you?"

"Don't speak such stupidity." Lucario spat. "Now scram."

"Jiggly Puuuuff!" The pink singing balloon pokemon pouted.

"Ivy Ivy Ivyyy SAUR!" The green flower bud Pokemon called out behind Falco.

"What did they say?" The azure feathered brawler turned back before exiting the door.

"He said you must stop blaming innocent people and Pokemon for these mishaps. It could get you neck high in trouble." Lucario scoffed. "Now leave us…we must continue from where we left off."

As the young man began to feed his Pokemon, the blue-feathered brawler walked out of the guest room.

"It's so hard not to blame you…" The feathered male said softly as he pulled out his list once more. "You all appear so…guilty."

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario or Peach, ROB or Mr. Game & Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario or Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Again, thanks for reading! :]**

**Thank you leaving reviews as well.**

**Stay Awesome!  
**


	5. Suspects 13 thru 15: Popo Nana and Lucas

As Falco began to make his way back outside, he glared at the children brawlers who were playing dangerously near the lawn chair where the silver wear sat.

_It must have been one of them…_the azure feathered bird realized. _Nobody loves chocolate more than children._

"Hey kids…" As Falco slowly approached them; the children all huddled together as if trying to protect each other from the fierce blue monster.

"We didn't steal your cake, Falco." Popo said in his little friends' defense. "So, don't come and blame us!"

"I haven't come to blame you." Falco whispered as he bent his knees to meet their gaze. "I just want to ask you a few questions."

Nana looked ready to cry as she grasped her twin brother's blue puffy coat.

"What is it you want to know?" Popo asked.

"Shut up, Eggplant breath…" Falco replied as he turned his hard gaze toward the blonde boy with the red and yellow striped t-shirt. "I want to talk to you. Where's Ness?"

"Ness…" Lucas said nervously. "He's…not here."

"I know he's not here, I'm not retarded. I mean where is he?" The blue-feathered male felt his heart begin to melt as he gazed into Lucas' sad blue eyes.

"I…haven't seen him." The blonde boy breathed.

"Leave him alone!" Nana squeaked out nervously as Lucas' sad blue eyes gazed at Nana lovingly.

"Oh?" Falco quickly turned to the female Ice Climber as he snatched the neck of her puffy pink coat. "Surely you must know something about my missing cake."

"I…" The female Ice Climber suddenly lost consciousness as her body thudded on the grass.

"What the hell happened?" Falco asked looking at the fainted Ice Climber.

"She's faking." Popo replied flatly. "She usually does this whole fainting thing when we're being interrogated."

"So that proves that she was lying!" Falco cried. "Popo, do you know who stole my cake?"

"I didn't see who stole it." The boy with the puffy blue parka rolled his eyes. "But I can tell you one tiny detail…

Lucas, Nana, Toon Link, and I were kicking a soccer ball around.

We had asked Ness to come and join the game but he said he needed to finish his homework first.

So we decided to play without him.

From afar I watched as you approached the lawn chair with your slice of heavenly cake.

Then we heard Ness calling you from inside; and you angrily stormed away.

Right after you left, Toon Link began to get all suspicious and he abandoned our game...just like that."

"I knew it!" Falco snarled. "I knew all along that it was little green thing!

"While you were gone, we also saw Kirby, Samus, Sonic, Link, Yoshi, and Snake approaching your lawn chair."

"Are you completely sure about this?" Falco asked sternly.

"Just ask Lucas if you don't believe me." Popo said.

Lucas nodded his head in agreement.

"I will believe in your word, Lucas." Falco said.

As he gazed into the Lucas' eyes once more, he felt a tear streaming down his face.

"I'm going to go now…"

"Falco, what the f—k?" The male ice climber asked hysterically. "Are you crying?"

"No…It's just...I...got a little sand in my eye…" Falco said as he dried his eye. "Now scram before I send Peach over to give you a spanking."

The kids continued to kick the soccer ball around as Falco made his way through the double doors of Smash Mansion.

"Bah! I hate looking into that kid's eyes…" Falco rasped as he tried to shake Lucas's image from his mind. "It always makes me shed a man tear." The bird took out his list to improvise it. "Alright…

Now, the list looked more like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

_2. Ness, fat boy_

_3. Toon Link, Swordskid_

_4. Kirby_

_5. Samus_

_6. Sonic_

_7. Link_

_8. Yoshi_

_9. Snake_

"So many suspects…" Falco said softly as he glared at his list. "So little time…

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana nor Lucas...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you so much taking your time for reading and reviewing. **

**P.S. I know you have been requesting for Toon Link to come out, Green.  
**

**Sorry to keep you waiting, but not to worry.**

**He will come out, ok? Thank you for being patient. ****:]  
**


	6. Suspects 16 thru 18: Snake, Samus and CF

"I need to find at least one of these people today…" Falco told himself as he walked down the halls of Smash Mansion.

The list was improvised and it looked a little more like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

_2. Ness, fat boy_

_3. Toon Link, Swordskid_

_4. Kirby, obese pink marshmallow_

_5. Samus, dat a-_

_6. Sonic, one-puplied Hedgehog_

_7. Link, fairy swordsman_

_8. Yoshi, butt slamming and egg throwing dinosaur_

_9. Snake, Hairest Man Alive_

"Hm…" Falco thought for a moment. "I wonder where I will be finding at least one of them."

"Oh Samus!" The azure bird perked up his head to the sound of Captain Falcon's deep voice. " Check my muscles out."

Falco followed the echoes of the voice until he was standing in front of Samus' dorm room doorway.

"Ugh…" Samus rolled her eyes. "Don't you think I've seen enough of your muscles already? I see them everyday through those skin tight jumpsuit you always wear."

"Does this mean you will show me your boobs?" Captain Falcon asked her.

"Ooh yeah." Snake rasped as he stood over her. "It's show time."

"It certainly is indeed." Falco eagerly stood in between Snake and Captain Falcon. " Let's see, Samus."

"So, Falco, a little birdie told me that someone stole your cake…" Snake laughed.

"So Snake, a little kid told me that you stole it." Falco snarled.

"What?" Snake bellowed. "I never stole your cake!"

" That ice climber Popo told me that he saw you pass by my lawn chair this afternoon!" The azure bird threatened. "And Lucas agreed."

"Yes, it's true." Snake confessed. "I did pass by the lawn chair with your cake slice on the plate but I did not touch it."

"You'd like me to believe that, wouldn't you?" Falco asked suspiciously.

"I'm allergic to milk."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"The bakery where the cake is made puts a lot of milk in their products, especially into their double chocolate fudge cake."

"Oh…" Falco felt bad about singling out Snake, he wanted to include Samus too. "Popo also he saw you over there, Samus. What is your explanation?"

"I'm on a strict diet." The bounty hunter replied as she placed her hands on her chest and ran them down her hips. "Can't you tell? Otherwise, I'd look bloated like Peach and Zelda."

"Yes…" Falco said looking at her chest. "I can most certainly tell."

Falco didn't bother asking Captain Falcon, because he knew that he wasn't in the lawn at all that day.

" Now let's resume to the part where you were going to show me your boobs!" Captain Falcon grinned through his mask.

"It's show time!" Snake repeated hungrily.

It wasn't long before the bounty hunter tossed the three men out of her dorm room and shut the door behind her.

"Ah rats." Captain Falcon frowned. "I was so sure she was going to show me her tits today."

Snake took a deep breath in reply. "Me too."

"Hey," The muscular racer asked. "Why don't you show me your moves?"

"Outside?"

"Yeah!" The two men quickly made their way past a very perturbed Falco.

"Another falsely accused suspect." Falco frowned as he began to loose hope. "Will I ever find the true culprit who has stolen my beloved double chocolate fudge cake?"

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading and I appriciate the reviews as well. :]**


	7. Suspects 19 Thru 22:Olimar, Yoshi, Kongs

Once Falco had crossed out all of the unnessesary names from his list; he gazed at it carefully.

Improved, the list had converted to something like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, fat boy_

_2. Ness, fat boy_

_3. Toon Link, Swordskid_

_4. Kirby, obese pink marshmallow_

_5. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Puplied Hedgehog_

_6. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

_8. Yoshi, Butt Slamming and Egg Throwing Dinosaur_

Happy with his list, Falco continued on to further investigation while he roamed the rest of Smash Mansion.

When he took a right turn at the corridor, he noticed that the door to the kitchen was suspiciously closed.

As Falco approached the door carefully, he placed his head against the cold wood surface as he listened to moans of pleasure that were heard on the opposite end of the door.

"It sounds like someone is getting…funky in there." Falco grinned as he grasped the doorknob in his feathered wing.

As Falco slowly turned the doorknob; he struck quickly as he slammed the door wide open.

The azure-feathered brawler screamed as he found himself face to face with Yoshi, his green massive nose was topped with large banana chunks.

"Who were you getting funky with?" Falco screamed loudly as he pointed his lazer at the dinosaur.

"Me?" Yoshi sobbed. "I am a dinosaur, I don't get funky!"

"Oh, yeah?" Falco asked. "Then what's that?"

Falco pointed to the plethora of banana peels that lay before the green dinosaur's red sneakers.

"I…uh…" Yoshi stammered. "Promise you won't tell Dk or Diddy Kong!" The dinosaur pleaded as he fell to his knees. "Those monkeys are completely bananas!"

"I won't tell if you confess to me that YOU ate my cake!" Falco bellowed.

"What?" Yoshi cried. "But I didn't eat your cake, Falco! I'm a vegetarian dinosaur! I mean…I am a fruitian. Ugh, you know what I mean. I only eat fruit from the Super Happy Tree!"

"Or bananas from the deep Jungles of Kong, in this case." Falco thought for a moment.

"Please promise me that you won't tell the gorilla in the tie!" Yoshi pleaded. "He'll kill me!"

"Then confess that you ate my cake!" Falco snarled.

"I can't confess eating something I don't even like!" Yoshi cried. "It's ignorance!"

"You leave me no other choice…" Falco tsk-tsked as he took the walkie-talkie from his dark jeans pocket. "Crazy hand, please send Diddy and Donkey Kong into the kitchen immidietly."

"Understood." A voice replied from the static of the walkie-talkie.

Falco's beak turned into a twisted grin as Diddy and Donkey Kong burst into the kitchen.

"Boys," Falco grinned. "GET HIM!"

The gorilla of massive size and his chimpanzee companion pounced over the helpess dinosaur and pounded consecutively on him.

"Alright…" Falco said as he exited the chaotic kitchen with his list in hand. "So I am now certain that it wasn't Yoshi, Diddy or Don…"

The azure-feathered brawler stopped dead in his tracks as he watched the tiny spaceman, Olimar walking past him as he hungrily sucked out of a toothpaste tube labeled "Space Food".

"And now I'm certain it wasn't Olimar." Falco balled his fists at his sides as he continued to stroll around the dining room. "I feel so close to finding you…so very close."

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**


	8. Suspects 23 and 24: Toon Link and Zelda

Falco's list was becoming smaller and smaller day by passing day.

If you were to look over Falco's shoulder and sneak a peek on his list, you would see something similar to this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, Fat Boy_

_2. Ness, Fat Boy_

_3. Toon Link, Swordskid_

_4. Kirby, Obese Pink Marshmallow_

_5. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Puplied Hedgehog_

_6. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

"Alright…the top two suspects on my list are as follows." Falco told himself. "The fat boy with the baseball bat and the cuter and more compact version of Link, the gay fairy."

"Link is not gay." The Hylian woman in her Sheikah disguse approached the azure feathered brawler.

"Oh really?" The bird asked. "Then please answer me this…why does he wear a dress?"

"It's not a dress, you dim light bulb." The woman replied in a muffled voice. "It's a tunic."

"Right…" Falco replied sarcastically. "Link's trying so hard to be a woman and you're trying just as hard to be a man. Conclusion? You're both gay."

The Sheikah disguised woman evaporated behind a bright light and transformed into her usual self, the elegant and charming princess of Hyrule. "Don't start with that again!" Zelda threatened. "I did it to save Link and you know it!"

"Right…" Falco agreed. "He was up against the Gerudos and he had just gotten his fingernails manicured, his tunic pressed and his hair done. So you came to assist him so he wouldn't ruin his nails, hair, or tunic am I right?" Sheik glared at the trash talking blue bird through tiny slits for eyes. "Plus, he gave you a chance to show the world just how manly the Hyrule princess can really be. It was an opportunity neither of you could resist."

"You will pay for your insolence!" The beautiful Hyrule princess bellowed as she pressed her razor sharp nails against the azure-feathered brawler's neck.

"Stoooop!" Falco squeaked as he tried to loosen from Zelda's tight grasp. "You'll ruffle the feathers! I don't want to join the next tournament with ruffled feathers!"

"And don't you dare come and blame Toon Link of myself for your stupid cake!" She snarled.

"Zelda!" The princess released her grip on Falco's throat as the little green swordsboy walked into the room with brown stained lips.

"YOU!" Falco pointed at the boy with a trembling finger. "I've been looking for you…boy."

"What did I do?" The small blonde boy asked as Falco snatched him up from his tiny tunic and rose him above the floor. "I knew you were the one who stole it!"

"What did I steal?" The boy asked innocently.

"This!" Falco glared as he swiped some chocolate from the boy's lips and had himself a taste.

"Chocolate…" Falco snarled.

"Toon Link!" The princess cried out. "We've discussed these matters about stealing before. How could you?"

"I…can explain!" The boy shivered.

"Oh really?" Falco brought his beak to the boy's nostrils. "Explain."

"But first…" the boy said in between sniffs. "You need a breathmint…"

"EXPLAIN!"

"Alright, alright." The boy said helplessly. "Link gave it to me, alright?"

With that, Falco slammed the tiny swordsboy to the floor and vanished from the room.

"Wah! I think he broke my back!" Toon Link's grunts of pain could be heard from the corridors but Falco does not care if he has injured a boy's spine.

Not as long as he is coming close to solving this hot mystery.

So, does that green dress-wearing fairy man think he can play games with me, huh?

Well, we'll just see about that…

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link nor Zelda...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.  
**

**Thanks for reading! :] Vrooom!  
**


	9. Suspects 25 and 26: Fox and Wolf

"Hahaha! I have defeated you both once more, McCloud!" Wolf's thick voice rasped from within the depths of the dorm.

Falco peered his blue-feathered head through his comrade Fox McCloud's door.

The azure blue brawler watched intently as Fox and his arch nemesis, Wolf O' Donell were plopped in front of a small black and white television set playing their favorite game, Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

"That's the third time already." A very upset Fox replied frustrated as he slams his Wiimote inside the tub of popcorn their obliterated. "You want to know what is the real reason why I lost?"

"Excuses, excuses…" Wolf grinned cockily.

"No excuses, whatsoever! I lost because of that green smelly little…"

[-Insert Rick Roll Ring Tone-]

"Oh, excuse me a second." Fox brushed off remaining popcorn kernels from his leather outfit before rising from the scratchy carpet.

His furry paw reached for the vibrating Iphone that sat next to the old fashioned television. "Hello?"

"Fox, it is I, Slippy Toad!" A squeaky voice was heard through the telephone speaker.

"No need for an introduction, Slippy," Fox replied. "I know exactly who you are; now what is it?"

"I…I…I'm trying to fly through a very closed-in gap, it's so compact I can't get through. It's impossible!" The frantic voice of the green toad cried. "Please help me!"

"Try doing a barrel roll!" Fox ordered as he rolled his eyes.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?"

The furry male cupped the iphone speaker with both paws. "DO…A…BARREL…ROLL!"

Falco watched as the gray-coated wolf laughed uncontrollably on the floor as the orange-coated fox tried reasoning with a very anxious toad.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" The voice screamed in the phone.

"DO A F-KING BARREL ROLL, YOU PATHETIC THING!"

Wolf just about lost it as he shuffled and laughed his butt off completely.

"I'm about to craaaash and it's all thanks to you, Star Fox!" Slippy cried. "NOOOOOOOO!"

Fox angrily slammed the telephone on the receiver as he collapsed down by his arch nemesis's side.

"That's the reason why I lost." Fox snarled as he pointed to the telephone just above his head. "That elastic coated freak doesn't know when to retire from the force."

"True that." Wolf wheezed. " But you DO sound jealous of my many victories, McCloud."

Fox glared at the gray wolf. "Besides, why would I be ever be jealous of a furry, huh?" He raised his nose up in disgust. "No offence, but…all that disgusting matted fur makes me sick just looking at it "

"In case you haven't noticed you are furry as well." Wolf snarled as he reached behind him. "Since I knew you were going to get sensitive over this whole thing; I brought a piece of cake to make it all…"

"Piece of CAKE!" Falco waited no longer crash into the dorm room, uninvited.

"I'll take that you thief!" Falco cried anxiously.

Before Wolf finished with his infamous "I'm afraid I can't let you do that…" the azure-feathered brawler had already snatched the silver wear from the gray-coated wolf's paws.

When he gazed down at the plate; Falco realized in horror and shock that his cake looked mutated!

"What is this?" Falco said softly.

"Obviously this is NOT your cake." Wolf replied as he snatched the plate from Falco's wing. "Yours is Double Chocolate Fudge, and this is Strawberry ShortCake."

"Then if you don't have my cake…" Falco replied helplessly. "then who does?"

"You might have to investigate." Fox concluded. "It really wasn't nice to blame us, so apologize."

"I…can't apologize again!" Falco sobbed.

"What's the matter, scared?" Wolf joked.

"Come on!" Fox urged. "Apologize."

"I'm sorry then…" Falco covered the humiliation on his face with his outstretched wing.

Fox put on a happy face and took the Wiimote from the tub of popcorn. "Now, Wolf and I have a tourney to finish…"

[-Insert RickRoll Ring Tone Once More-]

Knowing his fate, Fox rolled his eyes and brought the iphone to his ear.

"I fell into a tank of gasoline and just as I was about to light a cigarette, I caught on fire!" Slippy's voice frantically begged.

"What idiot would fall into a tank of gasoline?" Wolf questioned.

"This idiot…' Fox murmured.

"Please assist me, Fox!" Slippy begged once more.

" Do a barrel roll…" Fox replied.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"DO A F—KING BARREL ROLL, YOU DULL CREATURE!"

"What is that approaching me? Is that a French chef? Star Fox, the French chef is dipping me in flour and he's about to cut my legs off and simmer them in boiling butter! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Fox slammed the receiver to its rightful place and took a seat once more.

Where he and Wolf continued to enjoy the rest of their game and their piece of cake.

And Falco made his way outside the dorm room as quiet as a mouse as he took out his list of suspects from his pants pocket.

"I have to find one of you soon." He muttered under his breath as he re-reads his list. "I just have to…"

In case you were wondering, this list now looks like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Ness, Fat Boy_

_2. Ness, Fat Boy_

_3. Kirby, Obese Pink Marshmallow_

_4. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Pupiled Hedgehog_

_5. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.  
**

**Thank you for reading! :]  
**


	10. Suspect 27: Ness

As Falco walked through the second floor corridor of Smash Mansion, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the baseball capped boy approaching.

"Aha!" Falco grinned. "'You are exactly who I've been searching for this whole time."

The azure feathered brawler watched the baseball capped boy carefully; he noticed that as Ness walked through the corridor, he constantly turned his head from side to side to check if anyone was behind him.

"Hm…this is suspicious behavior indeed…" Falco whispered. "This is very suspicious behavior."

After making sure everyone was out of sight; Ness quickly dashed up the flight of stairs that lead to the Smash Mansion attic.

"Hm…The Smash Mansion rule book strictly indicates that 'No brawler is allowed in the Smash Mansion Attic'…" Falco questioned. "Yet Ness chooses to violate the rule by going up anyway…very VERY suspicious behavior indeed."

Falco quietly walks up the stairs and stands outside the door; he peered his head in taking a look inside the forbidden attic.

The attic was completely empty; except for a piece of dusty furniture and an ancient black telephone that sat above it.

The baseball capped boy had a terrified look on his face as he grabbed the phone and began dialing the numbers nervously.

"Ness never known to be unhappy…" The blue feathered brawler was shocked at Ness' unusual facial expression. "He's the happiest kid in this mansion."

"Hello Ness, this is your father." Falco could hear a deep voice coming from the telephone receiver. "I have deposited $1000,0000…"

"Never mind that…" Ness replied anxiously. "Dad…please you have to listen to me!"

"The number of experience points you need for the next level is…" The raspy voice in the receiver continued, obviously ignoring the boy's pleas.

"Dad, please listen to me!" Ness was practically screaming. Falco watched in horror as tears began to stream down the young boy's face. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Ugh…what is it now, Ness?" The voice demanded.

"I…keep seeing him, Dad."

"Seeing who?"

Ness shut his eyes before choking out the name…"G-g-giygas."

"Ness, please. Don't waste my time with these little nightmares of yours again."

"That's just it. They're not JUST nightmares anymore, Dad…" The young boy took a shaky deep breath before continuing. "When I close my eyes...he's there. He's there when I open them..."

Ness's bottom lip suddenly quivered in fear as he jerked back his head; dropping the phone. "There, Did you hear him?"

"I didn't hear anything, son."

"How could you not?" Ness fidgeted in fear as he fell to the floor engaging in a fetal position. He could hear the same ominious sounds he once heard when engaging in battle with Giygas a while back. "He never stops…" Ness's eyes quadrupled in size as he slammed his hands to his ears at the piercing sound of Giygas' muttering voice deep within his head. "Please stop…" The boy shut his eyes as he whispered to himself. "Please…leave me alone."

Falco looked to his surrounding to grasp the voice but none was heard. "I…don't hear anything..."

"Ness, pick up the receiver." His father ordered.

"He's always calling my name…"Ness whimpered as he hugged his legs to his chest His face indicating pure terror. "He's here. Always around me, I see him in the face of every brawler. I can feel him wrapping his red snaky body around me…he's suffocating me with the toxic red mist." Ness began to shake violently in fear. "Dad, he wants to kill me!"

"Giygas is "not trying to kill you…" The voice muttered. "He is however; making you go completely insane."

"I want to go home…" The boy sobbed as he placed the phone to his ear. "Please come take me with you!"

"NO!" The voice bellowed. "You are going to stay there, you are going to pretend to be the happy boy you've always pretended to be and you are going to stop fantasizing about Giygas!"

"I'm sick and tired of faking to be the perfect and happy boy of Onett." Ness sniveled as he wiped his tears with his baseball cap. "My face hurts from smiling all the time. Don't you see? "

"As a matter of fact…no, I cannot see."

"I can't keep smiling to the world and say everything is going to be "Okay!" when I know they're not…Dad, take me with you."

"Ness, you know I cannot do that."

"But why not? You never gave Mom a reason to come home either. Give it to me straight, Dad. Do you have another woman in your life, another family perhaps?"

"I…"

"Say it, Dad. It's time for you to come clean about things now."

"Alright, I'll tell you the truth once and for all…" The voice took an enormous breath before continuing. "Ness, I am not who you think I am."

"What do you mean?"

"I am a telephone."

Ness and Falco could not believe what they were hearing.

"What you're trying to say is that my mom got impregnated by a black talking telephone."

"That's right."

"HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!" Falco placed his feathered wings over his beak to prevent any further blurting but it was far too late. Ness had already spotted him behind the attic door.

"What are you doing here?" Ness demanded as he untangled from his fetal position.

"I'm here to collect my cake." Falco said as he made his way toward the boy. "Now tell me where it is or I'm calling the nearest mental institute to come and pick you up in a matchbox."

"I didn't take your cake." Ness replied sadly. "How could I? I was with you when it was stolen, remember? You wouldn't help me with my math."

"Oh…" Falco grinned. "That's right…"

"Now apologize." Ness pouted. "It's the least you could do for this inconvenience."

"I'm sorry you're so crazy…" Falco muttered under his breath.

"Come again, Falco?"

"I mean sorry for falsely accusing you and for listening in on your most intimate of conversations."

As Falco made his way down the flight of stairs; part of him could not help but feel sorry for the PSI powered boy. "Poor kid…" He sighed as he crossed off the boy's names from his list and searched for his next suspect.

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf or Ness...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter. **

**Thank you for reading! **


	11. Suspect 28: Pit

"Alright, so my list has been slashed down to almost half…" The pensive blue-feathered brawler told himself as he reviewed his list once more.

If you were to look over Falco's shoulder, you would see something quite similar to this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_ Obese Pink Marshmallow_

_2. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Pupiled Hedgehog_

_3. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

"This means I am so very close to finding out who has stolen my cake!" Falco suddenly stopped to perk his ear up.

From the corridor where he stood; the azure-feathered brawler thought he heard a faint voice coming from Pit's dorm.

As he approached the door; he concluded that his realizations were correct.

There was in fact a voice coming from Pit's dorm room; the only problem was…Pit was talking to himself!

"Oh great…" Falco scoffed. "Lucky for Ness, he'll end up having company at the Mental Institute."

Falco hid his head behind the door to Pit's dorm slightly and began to spy on the young man with the angelic face.

"Oh Lady Palutena…" Pit whispered softly and joined his hands together as if he were praying with his whole heart. "Please do the honor to appear before me…"

"Pffffttt…" Falco snarled softly. "Kids are so crazy these days; with their silly imaginary friends…"

In only a matter of seconds, a bright white light flashed before the two males; blinding them only momentarily.

As the bright white light began to dim; Falco watched in amazement as a beautiful green haired damsel in a white toga and golden armor formed in the remains of the light before the young angel.

"Uh…she's ok." Falco thought as he stared at the young woman from head to toe. "To be completely honest, she's nothing compareth to the Great Goddess of Dat Ass. Beholdeth brother, Samus Aran."

"Pit, my most loyal servant…" The Goddess of Light spoke in a soft whisper. "You have summoned to me; is there perhaps something troubling you?"

The young man bashfully kicked at his feet as he spoke to her. "Nothing wrong, Lady Palutena…I…" As he gazed upon the beautiful goddess, his blue eyes shimmered brighter than ever. "I just really wanted to see you again."

As the green haired damsel smiled, a faint pink color overpowered her pale face. "Is what you're speaking of really true; you have only summoned to me simply to see me?"

"Well…I was also wondering how things in Angel Land were doing…" He replied. "Is everything alright?"

The young Goddess smiled warmly. "Everything is alright in Angel Land, Pit. There is no need to worry yourself."

"Must you go?" Pit asked her.

"I must…" She sighed sadly. "I have pending things to do here…"

"Well, before you go…" Pit smiled as he handed the green haired Goddess a white rose. "I'd like you have this…"

"I've never seen anything so beautiful…" Lady Palutena brought the flower to her face and closed her eyes as she inhaled the fragrance of the rose.

"The flower had a lot of sharp thorns. Since I didn't want you to get hurt; I took them out myself…" Pit blushed as he stared down at his pricked fingers.

The young angel's face reddened almost instantly at the sound of Lady Palutena's giggling. "For this you must be rewarded, Loyal Servant Pit."

"And how will I be rewarded, Lady Palutena?" The curious boy asked her.

The young Goddess giggled once more as she slowly began to approach the young angel's face with her puckered lips.

Pit closed his eyes as he expected to feel a small peck on the cheek but a loud and obnoxious voice completely sabotaged Pit's moment…

"Wow, just a tiny kiss on the cheek? What kind of reward is that…It's childish?"

When Pit's eyes shot open; he was face to face with Falco Lombardi; Lady Palutena was nowhere in sight.

"So you've come to ruin my day just like you've ruined everyone else's, huh?" Pit snarled, he so badly wanted to choke Falco at this precise moment.

"No…you ruined my day for taking my cake!" Falco bellowed. "Admit it or I'll send Peach up here to give you a good spanking."

"I haven't even been downstairs for your information…" Pit replied monotone.

"Wait…you haven't?"

"No…" Pit sighed. "If you want to know who took your cake so badly, talk to Ike. Everyone knows Ike Greil has an irresistible sweet tooth."

"Ike has a sweet tooth? Then I must find him now…"

"Halt!" As Falco began to march toward the door, Pit stood right before him. "Before you leave this room you must apologize to me."

"Do I have to?"

"Do it or I'll send Peach over to give YOU a good spanking."

Falco rolled his eyes as he dropped to his knees. "Oh I am sorryeth to haveth indrudedeth in your maaaaakeout sessioneth, Oh Great Palute…OW!" Pit had yanked one of Falco's feathers from the top of his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"Just leave, Falco." Pit instructed as Falco rose from his knees and paced to the door. "Don't forget to take your fake apology and shove it right up your feathery…"

Falco quickly shut the door to Pit's dorm room before hearing the rest; and then proceeded to further investigation.

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit ...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

Thank you for reading! :]


	12. Suspects 29 and 30: Ike and Marth

Once Falco added another name to his list, he decided to look over it once more to double check his process.

The list already began to look more like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Kirby, Obese Pink Marshmallow_

_2. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Pupiled Hedgehog_

_3. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

_4. Ike, No Sympathy for Candy and/or other sweet things_

"Pit did say that Ike had the most tremendous sweet tooth of all the smashers present…" Falco thought for a moment. "I'll start with him."

As Falco began to make his way to the blue haired swordsman's dorm room, the azure-feathered brawler's eyes quickly widened as he noticed Marth approaching him from the other end of the corridor.

"Oh no, here HE comes…" Falco muttered under his breath as he quickly turned away from the Prince. "Why does this homo always have to ruin everything?"

When Falco turned his head back; to his relief the prince was out of sight.

"Now to continue on to further investigation…" Falco whispered softly as he approached Ike's door and placed his head beside it.

"First Wario charges in here looking for something of his like he owns the place, now you barge in here too?" Ike demanded in a tone that frightened Marth. "Have you people never heard of knocking?"

" I have…" The young blue haired prince replied nervously. "It's just that…I need your help…"

"My help?" Ike questioned. "Whatever for?"

"Well, it's kind of personal." Marth whispered. "Do you promise not to tell anyone about it?"

Ike rolled his eyes 360 degrees before replying. "I promise."

"Pinky swear?" Marth replied sweetly.

"What?"

"You have to do pinkie swear, otherwise it doesn't count." Marth said with concern.

"I don't have time for this BS." Falco muttered under his breath as he backed away from the door. "I'm going to the girls' dorms and watch Samus Aran through the keyhole..."

In an instant flash, the azure blue bird quickly dashed out of sight and out of mind.

"Alright, alright." Ike said joining pinkies with the blue-haired prince. "I pinkie swear."

"Good…" Marth smiled. "You see, Ike…I sort of have a thing for my childhood best friend…"

"You mean Shiida?" Ike questioned. "The princess of Talys?"

"That's right." The man with the silky blue hair heavily blushed. "I've had the biggest crush on her since we were kids. The thing is…I don't think I'm luring her in… I really don't know why."

"Well, that's because you're not luring her in, my friend." Ike replied casually. "You're actually distancing her from you."

"But why?" Marth demanded.

"Well…let's just that there's a rumor going on…"

"And?"

"And everyone thinks that…you're gay."

"GAY?" Marth's face flushed red in humiliation. "What the hell made them think that?"

"Well…" The blue swordsman stared at the prince from head to toe. "A lot of things actually…"

"No wonder Elice always took me to Ye Olde Fag Bar down in the depths of Altea!"

"Even your own sister thought you were gay?" Ike asked. "That's saaad…"

"You have to help me!" Marth begged. "I don't want people to assume I'm one way when I'm not!"

"Say no more…" Ike grinned. "For you have come to the right place for such manliness training that you seek. Come with me…"

Ike lead the perturbed prince through the small and messy dorm toward tall mirror that was inside his closet.

The young prince watched as his sad reflection gazed back at him.

From the outside of the men's dorm room corridor, Falco began to make his way toward Ike's room once more.

"Samus, you never seize to amaze me…" the bird smiled in pleasure. Once outside of Ike's dorm, the feathered brawler placed his ear against the door. "Now let's resume on investigation…"

"Alright…now follow take a deep breath…slowly."

Falco could hear the young prince inhaling and exhaling softly through Ike's command.

"Now…" Ike rasped nervously. "Take out your sword…"

"Whoa…" Falco's eyes widened in disgust as he continued to listen in. "Is sword slang for manhood in swordsman language?"

"It's out…" Marth spoke softly. "What do I do with it…"

"Point it upwards…towards me."

"I…can't! I'm afraid!"

"Being afraid will make things even harder, just relax, Marth. Don't be scared."

Falco made gagging sounds as he continued to stay glued on the door.

"Now make sound effects for me…" Ike demanded. "Make them sound fierce and loud, like that of a warrior!"

"GRRRRRR, I am a warrior!" Marth bellowed. "Oh yeah, baby!"

"Keep it up, Marth…you're doing good."

"This is tiring…" Marth whispered. "Can we take a break?"

"No, we cannot take a break. You want this so badly don't you?"

"Y…yes…" Marth wheezed.

"Then come on!" Ike shouted. "Give me more!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAWR!" Marth shouted.

"Enough, you disgusting perverts!" Falco screamed as he burst through the door of Ike; the azure-feathered brawler noticed Ike and Marth standing inside the closet together, looking completely confused.

"Perverts?" Marth asked.

"First Wario, then Marth, now you?" Ike replied as he stepped out of his closet.

"You should have come out of the closet earlier, Ike." Falco demanded. "We would have liked you anyway."

"I'm not gay." Ike replied. "And neither is Marth, right?"

"Right." Marth replied. "He was just showing me how to pull off some sweet posses with my sword in front of the mirror, right Ike?"

"Riiiiight…" Falco rolled his eyes. "Now, hand over the cake, Ike."

"I don't have it." The swordsman replied.

"I don't believe you."

"You're the second person that's accused me of robbery today." Ike replied. "Do I really look that much like a thief?"

"Yes."

"Well, I didn't take your cake, Falco."

Marth looked over his shoulder to his friend. "Well, what about Wario's…"

"I didn't take that either." Ike interrupted.

"What about you?" Falco asked the young prince.

"I hate chocolate." Marth grinned. "It always gets stuck in between my teeth at the worst occasions."

"Now apologize to us," Ike ordered.

"I'm sorry." Falco replied. "I'll get out now."

"You better…" Ike pointed a shaky finger at the bird. "And don't you dare mutter a word about this to anyone. Marth wants his manliness buildup to be a surprise for his Shiida…right?"

"I won't…" Falco took a deep breath as he paced down the stairs of Smash Mansion. "Sometimes I feel like I will never find the culprit who has stolen my cake…"

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit **

**Marth or Ike...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! :]**


	13. Suspects 31 Thru 33:Kirby,MKnight,King D

While Falco made his way toward the front doors of the mansion, he carefully crossed off Ike's name from the bottom of his list.

In case you were wondering, the list began to look like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Kirby, Obese Pink Marshmallow_

_2. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Pupiled Hedgehog_

_3. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

"Alright," Falco breathed as he broke between the double doors of the mansion toward the burning intensity of the sun. "It's time for me to get me some sun…"

From the corner of his eye, the azure-feathered bird thought he had seen his next suspect just across from where he stood.

As Falco raised his wing to his forehead to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight; what he saw was enough to confirm all suspicions; Kirby was in fact just a few feet across the lawn from the azure-feathered brawler.

Falco shoved his wings in the pockets of his ebony jacket as he casually walked through the lawn toward the unsuspecting Kirby.

"Welcome to King Dedede's Weight Management Camp!" King Dedede announced in his 'best announcer guy on TV' voice.

"Is this the sole reason why you've interrupted my reading to bring me here?" MetaKnight demanded angrily. "All to have Kirby and I engaged at your stupid fat camp again?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, MetaKnight?" King Dedede grinned as he pointed at MetaKnight's incredibly round body. " You're so fat, I took a picture of you last Christmas and its still printing."

The visage that always hid behind the mask was becoming more infuriated by the pompous king's continuous childish behavior.

"As I was saying…welcome to King Dedede's Weight Management Camp," The King renounced. "And it appears we are missing one of our members. Where the heck is Wario?"

"Wario?" Kirby asked, as he looked frantically both ways.

"You know..." The penguin king repeated as he rubbed his massive belly. "Wario, the guy that's so fat that you could slap his butt and ride the waves. Yeah, that Wario."

" When I saw him this morning, he told me we wouldn't be able to make it to today's meeting." Kirby reported. "He said he was busy looking for something sacred to him or something…"

"Well alright, we'll initiate without him." King Dedede pouted as his chins bounced with his every movement he made. He cleared his throat and flattened his robes. "I am your weight supervisor, you may refer to me as Super Crazy Health..."

"Wait, King Dee…"

"Ahem." The penguin king cleared his throat as he raised a brow in Kirby's direction.

"Er…I mean…Super Crazy Health…" Kirby was quick to recover. "I have a question, can I be weight counselor for a change?"

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, Kirby?" King Dedede replied. "You're so fat, you don't need the Internet because you're already world wide."

"Uh…I…" Kirby began to blush in embarrassment. "Well, not to be rude or anything but…to be honest, you're twice the size of MetaKnight and I are combined… and I don't think it's fair that you…"

"I AM KING AND I AM THE WEIGHT CONCELOR!"

MetaKnight and Kirby decided not to say another word and just play along with the greedy king's game.

"Today you are going to do 10,000 push ups. Go." As the King lay down in the grass, he took out a large bag of potato chips and began to eat.

MetaKnight rolled his eyes behind the mask before he obediently dropped to the lawn to initiate his pushups.

Meanwhile, Kirby hungrily stared at the bag of potato chips grasped in the penguin king's fins.

The round pink ball began to feel his mouth salivate as he began to savior the taste of those crisp salty chips inside his mouth.

"What are you doing, fat a-s?" King Dedede demanded with his mouth full. "Get to those pushups!"

Kirby's eyes shimmered in sadness as he dropped down to the grass beside MetaKnight and joined him in the session of pushups.

King Dedede looked up and noticed Falco standing behind the brawlers who were struggling with their weight as they tried to push up their bodies.

"Are you here to join the weight management camp?" King Dedede asked Falco as he desperately shoved potato chips into his mouth.

"No…" Falco replied flatly.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, Falco." The penguin king began. " You're so fat you put on lipstick with a paint roller."

"I don't wear lipstick, your highness." Falco replied.

"Oh no?" The king rose to his feet and stood just inches from Falco. "Well then try this on for size, you're so fat that whenever you wear a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"

"I don't have a yellow raincoat."

"Uh…you're so fat that when..."

"I don't have time for this BS!" Falco bellowed. "Now which one of you fat a-ses stole my cake?"

"There was cake and no one told me a thing about it?" King Dedede snarled. "What's the meaning of this?"

"Alright…so that excludes his highness," Falco turned to the masked villain. "What about you, MetaKnight."

"If you dare accuse me with such insolence, I shall take these razors and slice up your neck."

" Alright, that also excludes MetaKnight as well…" Falco said in realization as he nervously turned away from MetaKnight. "What about you, Tubby Lumpkins?"

"I…" Kirby stammered. "I didn't take it."

"Admit it."

"Really, I didn't take your cake!" Kirby said sadly. "I did see it on your lawn chair just sitting there, calling to me…but I didn't take it. King Dedede has forbidden me to eat because we are in fat camp." A tear slipped the round pink creature as it began to sniffle. "It is so hard for me to ignore it, you know? I highly regret not eating it."

"Apologize to us now." King Dedede ordered to the blue azure-feathered brawler. "Or we shall send Peach over to give you a good spanking,"

"I'm sorry guys," Falco replied sadly as he hung his head down low.

"Alright, then you best be off,,," The king demanded. "Good bye,"

"Oh, your highness? I need to tell you one more thing." Falco turned before he began to walk away from the threesome. "You're so fat that when you sat on a Nintendo Gamecube it turned into a Gameboy."

Kirby shyly approached the red faced and open-mouthed penguin king as the azure feathered brawler quickly left the lawn.

"King Dedede…" Kirby whispered. "Uh…you're so fat that I have to take a train and two buses to get on your good side."

As Kirby quickly fled from sight, King Dedede's cheeks flushed in a deeper shade of red and his mouth hung even wider than before.

The King turned his head and noticed that MetaKnight was not doing any pushups.

The masked creature was just sort of standing there, staring at King Dedede with the evilest of glares.

For the longest moment, the King stared at MetaKnight and MetaKnight stated at the King.

"You're so fat, it isn't funny." MetaKnight rasped harshly before disappearing into thin air.

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake, nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong.**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit.**

**Marth, Ike, Kirby, MetaKnight nor King Dedede...then who would it be?**

**You may of may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! :]**


	14. Suspect 34: Luigi

"Arg!" Falco groaned as he entered through the double doors of Smash Mansion, allowing them to slam shut behind him. "I can't believe out of all the suspicious looking people I've interrogated none of them happens to be the con…"

To Falco's amazement, someone with blue overall trousers and a long sleeve green shirt was found in the corner of the living room floor; it's no surprise that this familiar outfit was easily recognized as Mario's one and only younger brother, Luigi.

Although Falco did wonder why the green machine remained isolated in the far corner of the living room; hugging his knees to his chest and sucking his thumb almost desperately like a baby.

"Luigi?" Falco asked as he approached the Italian man. "You alright?"

"They're-a always-a here!" Luigi replied frantically as his huge gaping blue eyes quickly shifted from one direction to the other.

"What do you mean, Luigi?" Falco questioned the shivering brother of Mario. "Who's always here?"

"They're-a always-a here…" Luigi repeated nervously. "They're-a always-a watching us…."

"Oh great…" Falco replied as his eyes rolled all the way to the back of his head. "It looks like Ness will be having one MORE person to seve him as 0company down at the asylum."

"I'm not-a crazy!" Luigi replied anxiously as his eyes seemed to bulge out of his skull in complete fear. "I-a…"

"You what?" The azure-feathered brawler demanded.

"I see the ghosts-a everywhere-a!" Luigi stammered.

"Yeah, right…ghosts, that really is no surprise." Falco replied bluntly. "A couple of Boos here and there but come on, Luigi. We all know that the Boos are not even that scary!"

"They are-a not-a Boo, Falco. I see-a…" The green machine turned his head up to the ceiling and let out gasp as he noticed what was dangling from the chandelear.

The azure-feathered turned to have a look for himself but when he looked up at the ceiling, he saw nothing. "What is it?"

Luigi tried to make the words come out of his stammering mouth but it was impossible; all he was forced to do was stare up at a yellow furry body high above the ceiling.

Luigi watched in horror at the stethoscope that tightly grasped and chocked the small creature's neck caused the mouse's body to rock with pendulum like movements above his head, causing the mouse's body caused its chin to bob continously upon its unmoving chest with every swing.

It's usual rose tinted cheeks were now a shade of lifeless gray.

When Luigi turned his head away from the mouse's swinging body, the green machine let out a piercing scream as a ghost unsuspectedily appeared beside him.

A crust of dried blood sat above this ghost's neck where it's head should have been and to make matters worse, this ghost in particular also lacked arms.

It's torso was deeply scared, it was almost as if it had been beat with whips and razors before it was be-armed as well as be-headed.

Although the bloodied torso lacked arms and a head, it took Luigi no time at all to recognize this familiar psychic pokemon used to be.

Instantly following the headless ghost, a small boy began to appear before Luigi's bloodshot eyes.

The young boy with the green tunic stared back at Luigi through two black holes where its eyes had been once before they were scooped out from his eye sockets with spoons.

Tuffs of blonde hair had apperantely been pulled from the young boy's scalp as well, as it appeared that he was certain bald spots around randomly selected sections of his head.

As the young boy smiled at the Jump Man's brother, Luigi's skin began to crawl and his teeth began to chatter as the boy's ominous smile was unlike any smile anyone has ever seen, as the Glasgow grin had been slit with a razor longer than it should have been.

"What do you see?" Falco asked as he placed a wing on the plumber's shoulder.

"I-a see-a dead brawler-a." Luigi stammered as his large nose began to drip with mucus.

When he turned his towards the ghost of the young boy, he let out another scream as another ghost took its place beside the eyeless grinning ghost boy.

It appeared as if someone had taken an axe and sliced the flesh off parts of his body like his face, his chest, legs and back.

Luigi felt he was about to loose conciosness as he stared in horror at the fiery red haired man's smiling face which revealed thousands of hideous no longer pulsing bloody red veins and dried blood.

"Oh come on, stop fooling around." Falco muttered.

"I am not-a fooling-a around, I-a really do see them. Please, you have-a to believe-a me!"

"Well, I don't." Falco replied flatly. "I mean come on, now. This mansion is not haunted. Now enough about that term, let's discuss the cake matters, shall we?"

"I am-a speaking the truth-a, this mansion is-a haunted…I shall-a tell you the story-a…" Luigi stuttered nervously as his hands tightened their grip nervously.

"I really haven't the time to listen to any ghost story…" Falco replied. "Now if you'll just tell me the whereabouts of a Double Chocolate Fudge Cake…"

"It-a happen-a many years ago, it was-a before you, the newcomer-a even arrived." Luigi ignored the blue-feathered brawler's question as he began to tell the story. "We all lived-a here, very happy like. Then one-a cold stormy night-a, Master Hand spoke with all of us, warning us that we were-a expecting to have-a newcomers. At first-a we were all happy to have-a more-a company here-a in the Smash-a Mansion, but then Master Hand-a told us about-a horrible fate some of us would face-a."

"Blah Blah Blah…Where is my cake?" Falco asked eagerly.

"The fate of some was that-a some of us were-a going to have to disappear from Smash mansion in order-a to make-a room for the new-a fighters." He muttered softly and frightingly.

"Right…" Falco asked with much interest. "Now get to the part about the cake?"

"A powerful-a psychic legend was chosen first-a, then a young-a swordsman, after he was a very smart and courageous boy, then finally a small and fragile electric mouse. " Luigi shivered as he tried to contain himself from fainting. "One by one they all disappeared and rumor has it...that Master Hand killed them himself."

"The conclusion of the story?" Falco asked. "That Luigi has stolen my cake."

"Right…" Falco yawned. "Listen, I could stay and listen to your baby stories all day but I'm I desperate need to find a cake."

"They're always here…" Luigi stammered nervously. "Always watching me…"

"Now. That was a perfect waste of my time," Falco mumbled as he took out his list to observe it.

In case you were wondering, the list still looked like this…

CakeNapper Suspects

A List Constructed By Falco

1. Sonic, Hyperactive One-Pupiled Hedgehog

2. Link, Fairy Swordsman

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit **

**Marth or Ike**

**Kirby and King Dedede nor Metanight and Luigi...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! :]**

**Oh and before I forget, c****urse you Spell Check, for not revising the word "Chandelaer", haha! **


	15. Suspect 35: Sonic

"Alright, so two more suspects to go…" Falco muttered to himself as he walked in tiny circles around the carpet. "But if I've done the math correctly, that leaves two other brawlers who have not been interrogated. So that would leave a total of…four suspects that have not been yet questioned."

Falco suddenly felt a slight urge down in the pit of his stomach that he has not expecting to feel.

"Ooh…" The azure-feathered brawler said coolly although he tightly clasped his aching belly with his wing. "It's been so long since I have had to go, I'm starting to get a f-king cramp! I must go NOW!"

A very squirmy Falco clumsily made his way up the red carpet stairs of the elegant mansion toward the bathroom.

Was it hard to believe that there was only one toilet in the whole mansion of Smash?

It might sound ridiculous to you but that was the sad and honest truth, I'm afraid.

As Falco parted the bathroom double doors in two, the azure-feathered brawler was relieved to see that the bathroom was empty.

As he wriggled toward the only available stall in the bathroom, he became shocked to see that the stall had not been empty like he expected!

Although Sonic was kneeling beside the toilet, that did not stop Falco from getting to that toilet.

"Get out of the way!" Falco bellowed as he forcibly pushed the hyperactive one-pupiled hedgehog out of the stall and quickly shut the door with his wing.

"NOOOOO!" Sonic watched in horror toward the closed stall as Falco could be heard from the other end, moaning in pleasure as he squeezed all the lemonade out of his system.

"Much better…" Falco breathed softly as he opened the stall door and looked at a very perturbed Sonic.

"What didyadooo?" The blue spiky haired creature bellowed.

Falco's eyes darted from left to right. "I took a piss…I thought everyone knew that…"

"Nonono!" Sonic bellowed as he knelt beside the toilet with Falco's yellow liquid left unflushed. Sonic's speech was too fast and slurred it was almost not understandable to Falco. "What haveya done, Falco? Ican't believeyoudid suchathing tome!"

"Would you mind explaining just what the heck are you talking about?" Falco asked the very anxious hedgehog.

"Well…Icametothe bathroomto takethe Ritalinthedoc prescribedto meby thetoilet, the wayIalwaysdo."

"What kind of weirdo needs a toilet by their side to take their meds?" Falco could not help but laugh at this peculiar creature's statement.

"Buttoday…I havenoidea whathappened! I wasabout topop thetabletinto mymouthbut my handswere so theslipperyness of myhands caused the tablettoslide from myfingersandfall insidethe toilet!"

"Hearing the words "tablet" and "toilet" make me think about…" Falco's sudden expressionless face twisted in disgust. "Your medication fell into the toilet?"

Sonic shook his head violently without stopping.

"I won'tbe able tositstill, Falco! MasterHand warnedme to take mymedication everyday, whatdoIdo?"

"Get another tablet from the container and let the one in the toilet be…" Falco replied.

"But thatwasthe lasttablet!" Sonic cried. "And thepills won'tarrive bymail until tomorrowmorning!"

"Uh oh…" Falco breathed. "This only leaves you one option."

"What?"

"You must dig your hand in that toilet and get your tablet."

"Youdoit, I'm notsticking myhand in yourpiss!"

"I'm not the overengergetic psycho who needs the medication!" Falco bellowed. "You get it."

Sonic stared in disgust down at the tablet that had sank down in the low depths of the toilet.

The hedgehog took a deep breath and closed its one pupil shut as he sunk his hand in to the yellow water and grasped the tiny tablet in his hand.

"That's disgusting!" Falco snarled as he watched Sonic walk to the sinks.

The blue haired hedgehog took water from one of the sinks into a glass he'd had and with much speed, popped the tablet into his mouth and took a long satisfying drink of water.

"That is BEYOND disgusting!" Falco gagged as he turned away from the now calmer hedgehog.

"Hey…" Sonic grinned as he stuck his thumb up in the air. "That was harder said than done! Heh, heh, to be honest it was a piece of cake!"

"CAKE!" Falco bellowed as he shoved the one-pupliled hedgehog to the white walls of the bathroom.

"What did I do?" Sonic asked coolly.

"Where do you keep it?" Falco demanded as he slammed the hedgehog's back toward the wall once more.

"Keep what?" Sonic asked in monotone.

"The cake?"

"Cake I have stolen none…" Sonic 's eyelid started to get droopy and before Falco knew it, the hedgehog's body suddenly slammed to the floor.

"I guess I won't get any information out of this guy…" Falco sighed as he watched Sonic snore away on the shiny bathroom floor. "But I do know one thing…Sonic, you are one disgusting creature…" Falco took his list from his pocket and scratched out Sonic's name permanently from his list.

If you were to look over Falco's shoulder, his list now looked like this…

_CakeNapper Suspects_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit **

**Marth or Ike**

**Kirby and King Dedede nor Metanight and Luigi**

**Or that sicko Sonic...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! :]**


	16. Suspect 36: Bowser

As Falco marched toward the Smash Mansion library, he peeked his head inside the door in search of his newest suspect.

"Aha!" Falco's beak twisted into a sly grin as he saw Bowser, the creature with a massive Koopa shell lay pensive on the carpeted floor. "Let's see what YOU have as evidence, Koopa King…"

"Dear Peach…" The Koopa King recited the words scribbled on the piece of paper in front of him. "I think you are very…"

"What the heck is that?" Falco asked causing Bowser shake violently.

"Didn't I already tell you that…Oh…" Bowser faced the azure-feathered brawler. "It's just you Falco, I thought it was Wario pestering me again. Anywhoo…RAWWWR! No one is to be in here right now. Get the f—k out!"

"You don't have to worry about me..." Falco replied calmly. "I won't make fun of whatever you were doing, it's not like me at all to make fun anyway..."

"You better not make fun or else there will be harsh consequences." Bowser replied.

"And what may those consequences be, if I may ask?" Falco asked,

"I will use my magic and make you look like this."

Falco let out a shriek of terror as Bowser showed him a photo of a red Shy Guy.

"Oh no, your highness." Falco practically sobbed. "I swear I won't say a word to anyone."

"Good. If anything but a squeak of this leaves that little beak of yours…" Bowser demonstrated the photo of the Shy Guy once more but Falco turned away just in time to avoid seeing its hideousness.

"Please!" Falco replied as he shielded his eyes. "No more, I beg of you!"

"Good…" The Koopa King grasped stuffed the photo down his mouth and held on to the piece of paper within claw.

Both brawlers were now sitting side by side in the carpet, looking quite pensive.

"Is something troubling you, your highness?" Falco asked a very perturbed Koopa King.

"Shut up…" Bowser snarled.

Falco suspiciously eyed the letter the beast crumpled in the beast's razor sharp claw. "So, I take it through your composition that you fancy a certain mushroom princess."

"What the…how do you?" Bowser stupidly looked at the letter he still had clutched in his hand and quickly crumbled it up.

"It's no use hiding it, Bowser." Falco told him. "You're going to have to come clean some time or another."

Deep within his thoughts, the Koopa was nervous to begin to admit things toward the azure blue brawler.

Looking deep within the sincerity of the blue-feathered brawler's eyes made the beast finally decide to open up. ""You will not say this to anyone."

"I won't."

"Good."

"So…"

"So what?"

"So, do you like her?"

"YES!" Bowser roared. "Now leave me alone!"

"I knew it." Falco smiled in pleasure.

"If you knew it then why the hell did you ask me?"

"Just wanted to confirm."

Bowser suspiciously eyed the bird from the corner of his eye. "How the hell did YOU know this anyway?"

"It really was kind of obvious if you think about it. One would do anything continuously for the one he or she loves, whether it appears to be good or bad. And you, my friend definitely have a long history of kidnapping."

"I do." Bowser realized.

"Is kidnapping princesses all the kidnapping you do in this profession?" Falco questioned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, do you kidnap anything else besides princesses, like hm…I don't know…puppies, pastries…maybe ca…"

Bowser's face twisted in anger. "Is this about your stupid cake?"

"Yes, it is." Falco told him casually. "The master of kidnaps surely must have some idea as to where the cakenapped cake might be."

"I don't have your stupid cake!" Bowser roared. "And for your information, I am not the only famous kidnapper in this mansion. Have you forgotten that Ganondorf also performs kidnapping procedures?"

"Ganondorf!" Falco's eyes widened in realization. "The evilest of all evil…a new suspect. Oh, and judging by his plumpness, who else would be fit for the job to stealing cake…" As Falco turned toward the door and exited the library.

"Let us update the list, now." Falco muttered to himself as he wrote one of the last suspects he needed to interrogate.

The list now appeared to look more like this…

_CakeNappers_

_A List Constructed By Falco_

_1. Link, Fairy Swordsman_

_2. Ganondorf, Man jugs and Jellyrolls_

"Only two more suspects to go, Falco…just two more and you are oh so close to finally unrevealling the truth. So very close, indeed."

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit **

**Marth or Ike**

**Kirby and King Dedede nor Metanight and Luigi**

**Or that sicko Sonic nor Bowser...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the next chapter.**

**Thank you for reading! :]**


	17. Suspects 37 and 38: Ganondorf and Link

Falco could not take it anymore, he was absolutely 1000 percent sure that the culprit who had stolen his cake was none other than Link, the fairy swordsman of Smash Mansion.

"I am marching over to that gay fairy's room this instant!" Falco obeyed his own orders as he dashed past the long flight of stairs and headed towards the men's dorm rooms.

Falco quickly recognized the male Hylian's door due to the fact that it had a yellow symbol sprayed on the white door with gold spray paint, the same glowing symbol the young man possessed in the back of his hand.

As Falco pressed his ear against the surface of the Link's dorm door, all he could hear was loud music blasting from behind the young Hylian's door.

"The Chemical Brothers, eh?" The azure-feathered brawler questioned as he swayed his head to the rhythm of the remixed "Don't Think" blaring from the speakers. "Although this swordsman appears to be kinda gay…He actually has a pretty good taste in music. Hm…maybe he's not a fairy after all..."

Keeping his head close to the door, Falco watched a tall and muscular man approaching the same door he wanted access to as well.

"Get out of the way, you mediocre pilot." The strong Latin accent that clung to the man's vocal chords ordered as he shoved a feathered brawler out of the door's way.

With that, the King of Evil burst into the mentioned room without the swordsman's permission and shut off the blaring music that drowned the room.

"Whaaat the hellll are you like doing here, man?" Link demanded in a drowsy mumble. "And what the hell did you do that for?"

As Falco reared his head inside the room for a better look, he noticed that Ganondorf nodding his head in disagreement as he anxiously searched for whatever it was he searched for in the swordsman's cabinets.

Link lay on the carpet floor, his face vibrating violently, his eyes zoned out and his chest heaving furiously.

When Ganondorf finally found what he had been looking for, he shoved the small container towards the Hylian man's face. "Link, we have already spoken of this."

"Spoooken of what, maaan?" Link mumbled dizzily. "I haave noo ideaa what the hell yoou talk about?"

"Your obsessive overconsumation of Deku nuts." Ganondorf replied. "Last time we spoke, you…promised that you would stop all of this…"

"Yoou want me to drop the oooonly thing that makes meeee feeeeeeeel goooood in life, maan?" Link demanded with droopy eyes. "Is that what yoou want?"

"I'm telling you, leave your sick addiction, Link." Ganondorf replied. "It's…for your own good."

"For your own goood?" Link let out a dazzled chuckle. "Consuming theese babies is for my own good. They keeep me buusy when I got nothing to do, they keeep me giddy, and taake me to…a whole new level if you catch my drift, maan."

"I catch your dirft perfectly." Falco nodded as he approached the drowsy Hylian. "Now let's see if you catch mine…have you seen my double chocolate fudge cake?"

"Caake?" Link asked. "I think I might reemember a cakeee…"

"Yes, you might. The one you stole from me gave to that stupid boy, Toon Link."

"I neeever gave Tooon any cake! Chill, maan…Want a Deku?"

"No Link, he does not want a Deku!" Ganondorf bellowed furiously.

"Well, what the heck was the brown stain in his mouth?" Falco demanded angrily. "I asked him where he got it from and he replied "I got it from Link" so stop lying and admit it."

"Do you even know what "it" is?" The Gerudo man burst in and questioned. He slowly rose from the carpet floor and trotted to the cabinet where he demonstrated a box of chocolate bars to Falco. "Link sells chocolate bars to the brawlers in this mansion in order to pay for those stupid addictions of his."

"Oh…" Falco replied in astonishment. "So it wasn't my double chocolate fudge cake what Toon Link had in his lips, it was just chocolate..."

"I reember a Doouble Chocolate Fudgee Caake…" Link quickly repeated.

"Where?" Falco demanded as he grasped Link by his loose green tunic.

"I wouldn't listen to him if I were you, Falco." Ganondorf replied flatly. "That cake he saw might have seen surely must have only been one of those stupid hallucinations caused by being under effect of the Deku Nuts."

"Just beecause I'm under eeffect doesn't meean make me a coomplete retard." Link snarled.

"Yes, it does." Ganondorf replied.

"Noo maan, it dooesn't. I can cleaarly remember a chocolate double fudge caake…" Link replied dizzily. "Being taaken."

"Who had it?" Falco demanded.

"I thiink it was…Waario."

"I rest my case." Ganondorf snarled. "All but stupid hallusinations."

"I'm telling the truth!" Link demanded the azure feathered brawler. "See for yourself, Falco. Go to Wario and unreveal the truth."

"Don't listen to him, Falco!" The Latin accented man grinned at Falco as he knelt down and focused his whole attention towardthe Hylian swordsman. " Link, please. You must put an end to all of this lying and unnecessary consummation of Deku Nuts."

"Whaat the f—k am I," Link demanded sharply. "Am I yoour f-king kid for you to talk to mee like thaat or whaat?"

Falco's eyes darted open as Ganondorf's eyes quickly and nervously drifted in another direction.

"Well, I think its time for me to come clean about things, Link." Ganondorf replied with a sigh. "Link…"

The young man rose from the floor and glared at the Muscular Gerudo through thin blue slights for eyes.

"Yo soy tu padre, mi'jo." Ganondorf breathed softly.

"Whaat the heck dooes that meean?" The Hylian demanded.

"It means 'I'm your f—king daddy, retard."

Link's once tired eyes suddenly bolted open and for a second there, Falco thought they were to slip out of the young swordsman's eye sockets. "Like noo. Like…oh nooes!" He muttered softly. "Yoou're not my faather, maan…"

"Yes, I am and I'm tired of keeping it a secret." The tall and muscular man replied. "I know things have been a little rocky between us I also know we've never agreed on how to control the power of the triforce but deep down, I was always happy that my seed succeeded…"

"Yoou my faather…?" Link questioned in disbelief. "Hoow is thaat eveeen possibleee? I'm like Hyliaaan or whatever and yooou're like…"

"Your mother was Hylian, just like you. She died while giving birth to you and knowing I will not be able to give you the bright and wonderful future you truly deserve I…abandoned you in the village of Ordon."

"So like, all theese years and yoou have husheeed all of thiis." Link stammered sadly. "Yoou fought against me knoowing I was like yoour sooooooon or whatever insteaad of like reaasoning wiith meee, hooow couuld yooou?"

"I strongly apologize, mi'jo."

"Like, stop calling me that." Link began just as big fat tears cascaded down his faint blue eyes. "If I reeally am yooour son…theen…Theen I don't ever wish tooo speeeak to yoou again."

"That is impossible, mi'jo." The Gerudo replied softly. "You have to speak to me sometime."

"I'm noot speaking to yoou or to anyoone…EVEEER AGAIN!"

"You can't stay angry at the world, mi'jo."

Link crossed his arms on his chest as he pouted his lips while sitting on the carpeted floor, a permanent sign indicating that Link will never ever utter another spoken word again.

"Let's go…" Ganondorf lightly began to shove Falco out of the dorm room and as they filed out, he shut the door behind them.

"Now that was easy…" The Gerudo replied flatly.

"Wow…" Falco replied wide-eyed. "I never even knew Link was an addict…"

"No one does except for me. I admit he had me fooled in the beginning as well, the boy hides his true identity quite well..."

"Oh and um…Ganondorf, sir." Falco was curious to the subject about to be requested. "Are…you really Link's father?"

Ganondorf let out a raspy bone-chilling chuckle. "Of course not, you fool! Knowing the rage that might build up inside a son not knowing who his father was all these years would cause a complete isolation in a being as well as depression. Now that Link has indeed fallen into a deep depression, I am content with myself, Mwahaha!" The Gerudo did a little dance as he sang happily. "Link will never taaaalk! Link will never ever taaaalk agaaaaaain!"

"Whew…" Falco shuddered. "That Ganon really is evil."

Falco took out his list and crumpled it up into a ball that he tossed behind his shoulder.

"Could the Hylian be right about his words?" Falco questioned. "Is Wario really the culprit who has stolen my cake?"

It made sense to Falco due to the fact that Wario was not yet interrogated but there is only one way to find out.

* * *

**If it wasn't Mario, Peach, ROB or Mr. Game and Watch...**

**If it wasn't Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, or Charizard...**

**If it wasn't Lucario, Jiggly Puff or Pikachu...**

**And neither Popo, Nana, nor Lucas.**

**Samus, Snake nor Captain Falcon...**

**Or Olimar, Yoshi, Diddy nor Donkey Kong**

**Toon Link, Zelda, Fox nor Wolf, Ness or Pit **

**Marth or Ike**

**Kirby and King Dedede nor Meta Knight and Luigi**

**Or that sicko Sonic nor Bowser**

**Ganondorf nor Link...then who could it be?**

**You may or may not find out in the last chapter coming up sooner than YOU may think.**

**Thank you so much for reading! :]**


	18. CakeNapper Case: CLOSED!

"Last suspect…" Falco muttered as he began to slowly march down the carpeted stairs of Smash Mansion. "Wario is the last suspect in need of interrogation, there is absolutely NO escaping me now, fatso!"

From the bottom of the stairs, the azure-feathered brawler noticed a very nervous baseball caped boy watching the bird making his way down the stairs. Falco 's eyebrow cocked as he noticed a tall black suitcase standing just beside the boy.

"Wow, I didn't suspect the Mad House was going to accept you this early..." Falco grinned cockily as he stood before Ness. "Are they taking Pit and Luigi with you as well?"

"No…" Ness replied softly as he hung his head down low.

"Well…" Falco breathed as he pat the baseball-capped boy in the back. "It really was a pleasure to meet you and I guess this is my farewell to you, PSI-ycho boy."

"You're lying!" Ness cried out in a desperate voice that startled Falco. An endless amount of tears cascaded down his usually rosy face. "I'm not a psycho, Falco!"

"Ness, Ness, Nesss…Ness." The bird repeated as he knelt down in front of the shivering boy. "You have to stop all of this, now. Your whole act that 'everything will be ok' is getting kind of old anyway. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you have a mental problem...Now, change of topic, have you seen Wario anywhere?"

"I haven't seen Wario anywhere!" Ness replied rather quickly and suspiciously. "He's not in the dining room.

Falco's eyebrow jerked upwards as he glared at the baseball capped boy. "Not in the dining room, eh?"

"Not at all." Ness cried frantically.

"Oh really?" The azure-feathered brawler asked sarcastically. "Well, I am going to go check."

"Please Falco, don't go in there!"

"And why not?"

The more Ness tried to prevent the azure-feathered brawler from entering the door of the dining room, the more convinced the bird was that Ness was hiding something just beyond the dining room door.

"Because it's all a…"

Falco did not hesitate to listen to the boy's remaining plead as he desperately tore through the dining room door; and what he found was exactly what he expected to find.

He found the large nosed obese man with a motorcycle jacket holding a piece of silver wear, atop that silver wear Falco saw a Double Chocolate Fudge Cake!

"My cake!" Falco snarled as he slowly began to approach Wario, with a cowering Ness following close by. "I should have known it was you all along!"

"What are-a you talking about-a?" Wario demanded as he stared at Falco. "This is my cake!"

"It was MY cake before YOU stole it, now hand it over!" Falco shouted as he snatched the plate from Wario's large hands.

"Falco!" Ness pleaded quietly. "Please, drop the plate now! You must get out of there!"

"Why?" Falco demanded as he rammed his feathered finger on the boy's face.

"FALCO!" A large booming voice behind the brawlers made their skin crawl and their body jerk suddenly. As Falco turned, his mouth gaped wide open as he stared back at the Master of Smash Mansion, Master Hand.

"Master Hand!" Falco replied nervously. "I'm so glad you're here…now would please send this fat a-s to jail if I were you. He stole my cake!"

"I'm not sending anyone to jail…" Master Hand spoke softly. "From the first day you joined the Smash Mansion, you told me that you would manage to keep your illness out of the way and under control."

"Illness…what illness?" Falco demanded nervously. "I have no illness."

" I've been watching you, Falco. And you need serious help and FAST."

"What are you talking about?" Falco questioned. "I don't need help, I need my cake, see?" He shoved the chocolate double fudge cake out in front of him. "And now that I have it, everything will be at ease."

"Take a bite out of it, Falco." Master Hand ordered.

"But…" As Wario tried to hesitate, Master Hand shushed him before he muttered out another word.

Falco cut a small piece from the slice with the fork and inserted the flavorful end into his mouth.

After savoring the soft baked goodness in his mouth for a few minutes, Falco swallowed the rest. "What is this?" Falco replied anxiously. "This isn't Double Chocolate Cake!"

"It's not!" Wario screamed. "It's actually Red Velvet! Can't you tell?"

Falco grasped his forehead with his feathered wing as he stared continuously at the plate sitting before him.

What Wario and the others saw was a half eaten slice of crimson red cake topped with white frosting.

But what Falco saw was completely different; he saw a delectable Chocolate Double Fudge cake.

"What's going on?" Falco replied weakly as his head beginning to sway dizzily along with the contents of his brain and his eyes searched frantically.

"What happened?" Wario demanded angrily. "You stole my slice of Red Velvet cake!"

As the obese man continued to speak, Falco stared at him in complete awe and amazement. The bird didn't realize until now how much the obese man's hair resembled the frosting that was usually placed atop a Double Chocolate Fudge Cake.

The azure-feathered brawler licked his beak as his eyes continued to wander around Wario's frosty looking hair underneath the Wafer cookie-constructed helmet above his chocolate breaded head.

"The people from the asylum have been expecting you since this morning since morning but for some strange reason, they did not find you in the lawn." Master Hand stared down at the baseball-capped boy. "Did you have anything to do with this, Ness?"

Ness bashfully played with his fingers. "Well, I…don't want those people to take Falco away…He's my friend." He replied softly. "That's why when I saw them coming for him, I…called him over to come and "help me with my homework"."

"Just the way you were trying to keep him from coming here, right?" Master Hand continued to question. "Be honest, boy."

"Y-yes sir." Ness replied weakly as he buried his face within his hands.

"It's been a while since I've noticed your strange behavior, Falco and since they were only minor, I simply chose to ignore them." Master Hand continued. "But now I realize that your illness should be taken care of before it starts to become a major problem."

"I tried to save you, Falco…" Falco unblinking stared at Ness as he whimpered softly and sadly. The bird's mouth began to water heavily as the boy's large chocolate chip eyes that stared at him, the boy's skin chocolate cake bread textured skin that smelled oh so heavenly and that hair…ooh! His hat, hair, shirt, shorts and sneakers were entirely composed of that mouthwatering chocolate frosting! "I'm sorry…"

In no matter at all, the azure-feathered brawler let out a battle cry as he jumped high in the air and pounced over the tiny boy's helpless body on the carpeted ground.

"Help me!" The body pleaded as the bird stared at the boy's face with so much desperation and hunger burning intensely in his blood-shot eyes. "Please!"

Falco grinned as rubbed his beak against the boy's face and in a quick and fierce movement, the bird raised his gaping beak high in the air and quickly brought it down toward Ness' chest.

The PSI powered boy let out a piercing shriek as the azure-feathered brawler pressed his beak shut against the fleshy part of Ness' chest; ripping the textile from his body as well as the flesh, the boy's blood quickly splattered on everything and everyone present as his flesh ripped clean off of his visage with a fierce yank of the bird's sharp beak. Falco continued to bury his beak deep within the boy's gaping wound, as he appeared to be searching for something desperately. As Falco quickly pulled his head from Ness' open chest, Master Hand watched in complete horror, as he gazed at the boy's no longer beating heart clutched between the azure-feathered brawler's beak.

A blood covered Falco appeared to be extremely content as he chewed in delight and happily swished the remains of the boy's organ and flesh with his tongue inside of his mouth. He opened his blood stained beak to reply the following oh so very sinisterly…"Cake…So…Good!"

With Master Hand's secret signal, all of the residents Smash Mansion all made their way inside the dining room and huddled around Falco and the unconscious boy.

Captain Falco and Snake shoved Falco's throbbing body off the small unmoving boy.

The monarchs, Peach and Zelda cradled a bloodied Ness in their arms and stared in fright at the gaping wound in his chest.

"Ness…" Zelda breathed softly. "He's no longer with us."

Hearing this, Lucas, Toon Link, Popo and Nana ran out of the dining room with a massive amount of tears to shed.

Meanwhile, as Captain Falcon, Ganondorf, Bowser, Link, Ike and Snake all tried to settle the frantic bird to the ground. Falco fought back as he wiggled and squirmed violently upon their grasp.

"Careful, guys!" Link cried as he took a breathtaking blow to the stomach. "Don't let him bite you!"

"Ow!" Captain Falcon snarled as he received two punches to the face consecutively.

Falco's beak found the soft fleshy arm of Ganon and quickly took a striking bite into it.

"Why you little…" Ganondorf bellowed as a very hungry Falco was ripping his flesh from his arm.

The bird continued to chew happily and without remorse of course.

"He's completely lost it!" Ike bellowed. Get the straight jacket, Marth!"

"Straight jacket here!" Marth replied as he began to help the others force the crazed bird inside the jacket.

In no time at all, the male brawlers all pitched in together and shoved Falco inside the jacket.

In no time after that, they heard the wail of the ambulance arrival just outside and they all watched as they hurled Falco inside the van to drive him to a Mental Institute that is very far away.

* * *

**Whether you are a brave Swordsman/woman or a rich and powerful popular monarch.**

**Who knows, maybe you are a chill plummer, a pilot with sky high goals, a happy dinosaur or a very determined Pokemon trainer.**

**You might even be a psychic powered firecracker or a one-puplied hedgehog.**

**Whoever you are, you were brave enough to march into combat with that man eating Review button.**

**You may recall that battle being one of the most fiercest and scariest events in your life.**

**But you did it anyway.**

**Congratulations, my friend, you have won…Gratitude!**

**Pandamonium, Plasmatroopa. KoopalingFan, WingedFish, Green Swordsgirl, Zora Princess, DarkJam, the unknown Assassin, Animelover Ari, juni, Sonar, Duskzilla, Link's Little Brother, magicats, SerriLivin, AuraChannelerChris, SkYeLiMiT, Bes9200, XanderX, Diabolos, LegendOfZeldaFreak, Y42, and the guest who demanded Pit (Lol!)…**

**I highly appriciate you taking your time to reading and reviewing my work as well so thank you so much for all of the support!  
**

**Oh and if anyone will be willing to challenge me in brawl, I shall be more than content than engaging with you in combat.**

**Name: Jetta**

**FC: 3095-3240-2798**

**Until we meet again in the near future…But for now, I bid you farewell and the best of luck in anything you are working on! :]**


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